We don’t know who needs to hear this, but the size of your dick isn’t as important as you think it is.
But a lot of penis owners, regardless of how they actually measure up, stress about being too small. Even worse? Having a micropenis.
It’s the ultimate insult, and fuels a lot of shame and stigma around it. But what if we told you, having a smaller penis could make you better at sex.
Dave (not his real name) told Hack growing up he realised pretty quickly he wasn’t packing as much heat as the guys around him.
“In changerooms growing up and when you watch porn, you see other guys who are much bigger,” he said.
Then there were a few awkward encounters with women.
“I hooked up with a girl and she couldn’t really speak English very well. She sort of gave me like a small penis sign. I just laughed and …I didn’t really care,” Dave said.
What counts as small?
Dave’s around 6cm flaccid, which is roughly the size of a regular bobby pin and 9cm erect, slightly smaller than a standard disposable vape.
While the exact number is up for debate, penis enlargement specialist Dr Josh Hall said the average size for Aussie dudes is around 15cm erect.
Micro penises are usually under 7cm and impact less than 1 per cent of the population according to Indiana University’s Kinsey Institute.
Dr Josh said we don’t know a lot about why guys develop them, but some studies suggest it could be a symptom of some genetic disorders or an injury when the baby’s still in the womb.
Dave said he wasn’t that bothered by his size and to the contrary is turned on when women make fun of his dick. It’s a kink called small penis humiliation.
He’s super upfront about it on dating apps too.
“Often a girl might think you’re joking,” he said.
“Then they might say, you know what, I’m not really into it and [we] just go our separate ways … but other times, it’s like, oh, I don’t really care.”
Dave ended up being in a serious open-relationship with a woman he met like this.
“She ended up really wanting me to learn more about going down on her and fingering her and … she taught me quite a lot about that sort of stuff,” he said.
Penis size can impact mental health
Having a small penis can severely impact self confidence and hold men back from holding meaningful relationships, said Dr Chris Fox, who is a senior lecturer in sexual health at the University of Sydney and has worked with patients with micro penises.
“They’re completely embarrassed and in some cases have had, you know, humiliating experiences.
“For other guys, it’s been about, you know, my partner says, It’s okay, but I don’t believe them.”
Dr Chris said media and cultural tropes were a significant factor in contributing to the “bigger is better” myth.
“We want bigger muscles, we want bigger bodies… and so it draws back into penis size as well,” he said.
What can you do about it?
While Dave seemed pretty unfazed by his size, some guys spend thousands of dollars to make themselves bigger, even if temporarily.
“We put dermal fillers, the same kind that we put in the lips, or the cheek, into the penis itself,” Dr Josh said.
“There are two layers of connective tissue that have fat inside them, we put the filler in those layers.”
Dr Josh said while you may put a mil of filler in the lips, he might put anywhere between 10 to 30 mils in the penis.
That could knock you back anywhere between $5000-$12,000, and like with any medical procedure there are risks.
Size does not matter
If you don’t have that kind of cash lying around, it’s not your only option according to sex toy retailer Carmen Wolff.
“If guys are worried about their size, they can consider penis extenders, a hollow strap on, a vibrating cock-ring,” she said.
Carmen said it was obvious sex with a small penis is going to be different, but that doesn’t mean it has to be bad.
“Whether it’s with their hands, oral or getting a vibrator, do a lot of foreplay first.”
Carmen said she always tried to sell a toy that will stimulate both the guy and his partner.
“I don’t believe that it should be all about pleasuring their partner, they need to experience that as well for their own confidence and mental health,” she said.